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Review - Why We Lie - David Livingstone Smith

It isn't until you start to read this fascinating book that you realise how important lying is. We all do it - and a lot of the time at that.

Of course it helps that David Livingstone Smith has been quite generous in his definition of lying, taking in all forms of deception verbal and otherwise (particularly the self deception we are so adept at) but it isn't until you read this book that you realise just how prevalent it is.

He points out that we claim it's a good thing for our children not to tell lies, then spend our time teaching them how to do it better. "No, don't mention Grannie's bad breath!" "Say thank you, and how much you love your present!" Not to mention the frequency with which we bend the truth or even smile at someone with no warm intent behind that gesture.

Once you get into this book it's hard not to keep looking over your own shoulder and watching the deceit happening. Take lying by omission, for example. I happen to have received this particular book for review because it was edited by my own editor for a forthcoming work. I wouldn't normally mention this, because the natural assumption of the reader might be that I'm going to say nice things about the book to keep my editor happy. By telling the truth (who I got the book from), bizarrely, I induce a sensation that I'm lying (saying the book is good when it isn't).

The good news is, I'm telling the truth. Honestly. It's very good. Believe me.

From the general concept of deception, Smith goes on to the main (and most original) focus of the book - the unconscious and the self-deception involved in unconscious actions and origins of thoughts and words. He brings in Freud, pointing out that though Freud's work had no scientific basis, and most psycho-analysis is discredited, there were some valuable insights in Freud's thinking (wherever it came from). We do operate largely unconsciously. Smith suggests that much more often than we realise (thanks to self-deception) we will unconsciously make remarks that have a hidden purpose. He quotes an example where his wife, sitting on a bus behind a woman who was dealing badly with a small child, made a passing remark to Smith about an acquaintance who had no idea how to deal with children. Smith suggests that purely unconsciously this was intended to correct the person sitting in front of her. Of course this sort of unconscious "hidden motive" chatter is very difficult to objectively collect and assess - but it's a lovely idea.

The book isn't totally without fault - it's a bit heavy going in places, particularly before Smith gets into his stride in the second chapter and delights us with tales of the different ways the animal kingdom deceive each other (I just love the portia spider), but most of the time it's very readable and works both on the level of getting a better understanding of why we lie (to others and to ourselves) and of deception's fundamental position as part of nature and human society.

Only in hardback.

Reviewed by Brian Clegg

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